Friday, February 08, 2008

Kids Ask the Darnedest Things

I came home from the gym last night at about 7:30 or so. Chris had finished his homework, so was enjoying a rare hour of TV. A short time later, I was sitting at the kitchen table with my husband eating the most wonderful Greek salad ever made, talking over the last round of health related revelations. In addition to gastric distress, Brian has been feeling some chest discomfort lately, so he visited with his cardiologist yesterday. He has two new prescriptions, a refill and an appointment for a stress test next week. The results of this test could very well send him to the hospital within 24 hours. It would be his 6th or 7th trip to have his arteries plumbed and stents installed in the last 5 and a half years. News his mother took surprisingly well. Brian and I resorted to black humor to lighten the moment. Chris seems to have inherited that gene from his Irish mamma. The last time Brian was in the hospital to undergo angioplasty, Chris make some wise crack about toe tags that had us in stitches it was so dead pan and well timed. He was just shy of his 11th birthday at the time.

So, Brian and I are giggling in the kitchen, doing dishes and cleaning up when a giggling child sauntering in asking, " What is a period?" Ahhhhh shit. Where did THIS come from?

Daddy says, "The dot at the end of a sentence, Son."

"NO, not THAT period." Soooo close.

I decided to give a short clinical answer hoping his attention span would soon exhaust itself. "Women become fertile every month, if they do not become pregnant, then their bodies discard the unfertilized egg and other material. It happens to all girls and women over the age of around 14."


Brian helps out with some wise crack that only a man can think to make (not misogynistic at all, just cracking wise given his 20 years experience with yours truly). Giggling ensues. I respond that most women mark the day on the calendar, and that it will behoove him to pay attention as he gets older. He goes to the calendar, where only my hair appointment, his school schedule and other events are shown. So much for that. About a year ago, I bought the boy a book about his own body so that he could look up any potentially embarrassing information if he didn't want to talk about it. Girl bodies, I think, are becoming much
more interesting...he's not quite 12.

We were grateful for the levity. We haven't told Chris about next week's activities. I think we will do that this weekend. We are trying to teach him about the genetics involved in the health issues daddy is dealing with in hopes it will encourage him to be more healthy. I don't think we are succeeding. I think I need to take over making lunch for Chris. And as the weather gets warmer, I am going to have to take him down to the track to walk, then run, laps. He has to get in shape, and value it now. Heart disease is rampant in Brian's family. Diabetes and mens cancers in mine. And don't even mention arthritis! It is difficult to impress on a preteen that he is not bulletproof, that as go his ancestors, so go the progeny unless they intervene.



Foster Communications said...

You have a funny kid.

I hope everything goes well with your husband. Hugs to you. :)

JYankee said...

Yeah hope your husband gets thru it all ok. Great son...I guess it's about time they ask THOSE kinds of questions eh?

SOUL: said...

my sis has three boys, and i remember their younger years-- oh, the questions they ask... your son is lucky that he doesn't live with THREE females ... you have it easy-- kinda.

anyhow-- kids do seem to lighten the load when we least expect it, don't they? if nothin else---ya gotta love em for that! :))

really sorry for hubbys health issues of late-- i do hope all is well... do let us know. and hang in there.

you aren't bulletproof either-- don't forget about you in this.

i hope you have a good good day!

simonsays said...

Your husbands answer cracked me up. I remember that no-such-luck feeling, and I thank you for the smile.


Maria said...

Aren't genetics just....a pain in the ass? I never gave much thought to my own genes until I had a child. And now, I am almost embarrassed at all the shit I have to hand over to her. Her father has this pristine, squeaky clean family. Alcoholism is the only vice he can claim. In my family there is heart disease, types 1 and 2 diabetes, bad teeth, prematurely gray hair, migraine headaches and so much more. Lovely.

The Real Mother Hen said...

That was the kodak moment in your kitchen. Parents and son, salad and dishes, smiling, giggling, talking... that is the happiness we all human seek :)

Kate said...

Oh, gack. The period question. This came up with Sara last summer, when a friend of mine mentioned a tampon in her presence, and Sara asked what it was. I was cool with explaining this, but my friend rounded on me and said, "WHAT!? You havn't told her about her period yet?!" Uh, no, I guess not. It just hadn't come up. So I explained it in simple terms, but Sara missed some of the basics. She is currently referring to it as my "exclamation point", which I think is fitting, actually.

seagrape said...

hope everything goes well with your husband.

Bah said...

Way to get a jump on his health, Bec. He'll appreciate that when he's an adult, for sure.

Good luck with hubby's medical crap next week. Maybe they'll find an extra heart in there and you'll all become rich and famous!

simonsays said...

Because I know I have not done so, I would like to tell you what a great person I think you are. Your wit and WISDOM are really quite something. Thank you. :)

SOUL: said...

hey-- don't you think you should maybe post somethin???
just askin.