Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Day My Husband Became the Right Reverend Brian

In April of 2005 my good friend attended her father's wedding in Las Vegas. After a night of partying at the reception and beyond, her long time boyfriend popped the proverbial question. She, of course, accepted. The drunken phonecalls began at oh, about 3am Vegas time, so let's call it 5 or 6am on the East Coast. I can't for the life of me remember what I was doing that night two and a half years ago, but I would imagine it involved a bottle of wine. I missed the call. Voice mail captured the happy unintelligible rejoicing.

One of the first stops they made upon their return to New York was to our house, where we celebrated the occasion in style. The wedding was to be in September of the same year. Niether of them are religious, though the groom was brought up Catholic. They decided they wanted a simple outdoor ceremony. Problem was neither of them knew anyone who could officiate, and unless you travel to City Hall, you cannot be married by a Justice of the Peace in the City of New York. They decided my husband should officiate. He, of course, humbly accepted, assuming it could be done.

Now, how to get my gnostic Greek husband ordained. Ah, of course. The Internet. Genious! They Googled "How to become ordained online." This search yielded a surprising number of results. They, over a tumbler or two of whiskey, selected a 'church' with which they felt they could be affiliated. With their payment of $14.95, they hit the "Ordain Me Now" button. Brian is now a card carrying minister, legally able to perform marriages, funerals, naming ceremonies, and other rites. He may not, however, perfom exorcisms, circumcisions, or animal sacrifices.

On September 10, 2005 The Honorable Reverend Brian P. officated the wedding of our two dear friends. It was a gorgeous day in Astoria Park. The bride was beautiful. The groom handsome. There were 75 or so people in attendance. The reception was held at the Bohemia Beer Garden, to which they all paraded with noisemakers, and general rowdiness. Beer Garden personnel roped off an area and erected a canopy. We had beer, wine, schnitzel, and red velvet cake. The general public did their usual thing along our perimeter. It was grand!

Who says you have to spend 20 grand on a wedding. I think they got it all done for decently under 5.

r.

11 comments:

JYankee said...

Suweeet! Wish I had known about your husband when we got married! Does he do international???? That was really nice of him to do that though and they had a wedding that they'd never forget!

rp said...

Hi, Yankee. I imagine he'd go where ever it would be considered legal for him to perform the ceremony. We had to check with the State of NY to be sure that their wedding was legal, and that all the proper paperwork was filed.

It really was an awesome day!

Bridget said...

What a great idea for spending $14.95. You gotta love this new cyber world we're livin' in. That's awesome. Great one for the old resume.

Random Magus said...

Sounds like such a relaxed and fun wedding. Usually the bride has the least fun during the process.

PS: Did you know that Tori Spelling became ordained to perform a wedding ceremony of some guests in the place she runs with her husband!

Sandra Ferguson said...

RP, just found you from Soul's site and you caught my attention with Olay products.

I have that over '40' neck. It goes with everything else that's over 40. LOL!

Which Olay products have you used that worked? I'm always on the hunt for something new to smooth away life's little irritations. Wine works great on the inside, but I can't get it to do anything but 'sticky' up the outside.

Thanks in advance.

rp said...

Yes, indeed, wine does work wonders for the inside. I have been know to imbibe copious amounts of the red variety :)

I have been using Total Effects Age Defying Cleansing Cloths, Total Effects Eye Transforming Cream and Regenerist Daily Regenerating Serum.

I was very surprised at how well it worked. I heard about a study that was done by consumer reports comparing these products to the likes of Chanel, and it did better!

I don't have the neck thing going on yet, but I was not diggin' my crow's feet!

Epimenides said...

Excellent! Good job that he is not allowed to do circumsisions! :)
Hey, btw, "no animal sacrifices"???
What about lamb on a spit for Greek Easter Sundays? :D

seagrape said...

Hmmm...definitely something to think about. My mom always wanted me to hold a title, and Reverend sure sounds more respectful than Mrs.
Well, I'm off to the store to try some Olay products!

rp said...

Epi, as long as he doesn't CHANT over the poor beast, he can kill it, I guess. Though I personally have to just go with the butcher for the lamb!

Seagrape, it is very funny to get a wedding invitation addressed to the Reverend and Mrs....Not quite Dr. and Mrs., but still!

The World According to Me said...

Hi rp

I enjoyed reading your story about you and the Reverend Brian.

It sounded like a very special, memorable day.

'Ordain Me Now!'

SOUL: said...

not diggin the crows feet? funny.
anyways...just popped over to see WTH... the explosion in NYC. were you anywhere near there? that's some crazy scary stuff!