Monday, May 21, 2007

Rebecca Time

Since I have turned 40 (see prior post for more) I have definitely taken better care of myself! So far, I have lost about 70 pounds. I haven't worn clothes this size in 15 or more years! I am very proud of myself. I am also very grateful to my husband and all my friends who have been a source of tremendous support and patience during this process. It cannot have been easy for them to put up with me at times.

I still have much more work to do. The physical care seems to have been the easy part--a focal point that has allowed me to be successful in one (very important) area of my life, and let some of the other issues slide to the background. Since my goal weight is in sight, it is time for some reshuffling of priorities.

It has been a hard year, in some respects. Friendships have been sorely tested. I am unsure where I stand at any given time. But I think that is mostly my fault. Or maybe not. I feel like both sides are walking on egg shells, and we have either been unwilling or unable to get to the bottom of it. Maybe I am just too damned hard to be around, but I would like to hear that so I can be sure. Would give me something more concrete to go on rather then this nebulous feeling of unease. Maybe I will just give some more thought to what it might be like to be around me.



Dwight said...

BRAVO!!! For taking care of yourself. So many health problems can appear because of the extra stress your body experiences due to excess weight. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

It sounds like your friends and family deserve a 'CONGRATS' too for putting up with you during the time of weight loss. Most people get cranky. No! Of course, I'm not saying YOU were. Just most people.

Sorry to hear about the challenge with your friendships. Although the Chinese character for 'crisis' does NOT mean 'danger' + 'opportunity' (see, I believe it is an opportunity nevertheless.

Whether you remain friends or not, take the opportunity to learn more about yourself. If you encounter humility along the way, use it to mend the friendship. Deep, deep down, I think we can truly love each other, but we're afraid to give up something that we've come to value. However, that something may not be as precious as we thought.

rp said...

Thanks for the Congrats...It is always nice to hear.

Actually, I wsa not at all cranky..I made sure deprivation was not a part of the process, otherwise I would have been unlivable. It is more a matter of timing and other people's issues reacting with mine...who was gaining while I was loosing. Who felt criticized because of some passing comment about what I was doing. Insecurities running rampant on all sides.

I believe the friendships will endure. We are committed to one another, and that is incredibly important and meaningful to all of us.

I also believe that is what our 40s are for---stripping away the bs we accumulated 20s, and learned to deal with in our 30s. Anyway, that is my theory, and I'm sticking to it!!!